A Question That Needs to Be Asked

Where does my faith lie?

All too often we begin down a path, sure that is where God is leading us but how often do we stop to evaluate the choices we make? As I sit here at the hospital waiting to be admitted for the last round of my first cycle of post-operative chemotherapy, I am left asking myself: How far will I go down this road and where does my faith lie? Is it with God Almighty, the Great Physician, or is it with man? If its the latter, it is sorely misplaced. If it is the former, I still need to seek Him out in prayer so as to be sure I’m still operating within His guidelines and will – not just for these treatments but every other area of my life.

Questioning the State of My Heart

Why, after coming through almost 7 months of chemotherapy, doctors visits, and major surgery am I questioning my faith now? As I said earlier, I’m finishing up my first cycle of post-operative therapy. I think now is a great time to really look at where my faith lies. I know that prior to this point, I was indeed following God’s will. Successful treatment and surgery and lots of time spent in prayer and His Word confirms this beyond a shadow of a doubt.

These post-operative treatments aren’t about healing, though. They are preventative in nature and – I’m beginning to feel – a way to make the oncologist feel better that I won’t relapse. Don’t get me wrong, my wife and I are very happy with my doctors and we feel the care has been stellar but has my faith shifted away from God and onto the doctors? 1 John 4:4 says “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” While John is speaking of antiChrist’s and false doctrines, I believe the same can be applied to my situation: If I am healed, do I need maintenance treatments and have faith in God or do I give into a false-sense of security and follow my own will in the matter?

That is where I stand right now, am I following my own will or am I still walking in God’s? If the former, I am in sin and need to repent. If the latter, I continue as I am right now. Either way, now is the time for sober self-assessment, all the while giving all honor, glory, and praise to God.

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